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Fibromyalgia has so many symptoms to recommend it. Personally, I love the fog.
It has me looking like the village idiot, wondering what my own name is and my personal favorite, rolling up a window with my head still in it. You would think one would know that it wouldn't be a good thing to even put your fingers near those buttons while you're talking but I did it. It doesn't do your self-esteem any good when your friends are laughing hysterically while your hair is being sucked up into the window.
To top it all off panic ensues and all you have to do to stop this fiasco is take your finger off the control. Simple, isn't it? You would think so. Then there's also the actual stress of the roadway. I'm still a Type A personality and after I get going the speed limit is like suggested retail price; it's up to negotiation.
I'm one of those people that think the roadways can be categorized. There's the slow lane, the I can't make up my mind lane and then life in the fast lane. If you're in the fast lane I don't think you should be going 5 miles under the speed limit. Well, let me re-think that. I don't think you should go the speed limit either. So driving can cause me a great deal of stress.
It doesn't even help if my boyfriend is doing the driving because he always drives 5 miles under the speed limit so I usually sit there stepping on the imaginary gas pedal like crazy on my side of the car. I think that part of the carpet is worn out from me punching that pedal.
Is that stress? Ya, think???? I had my home broken into a few months ago. I didn't blog about it because it was too new and too raw.
You feel too violated. Then to top it off the police did nothing. I guess I've watched too many episodes of Law and Order.
I asked if they were going to send someone for fingerprints. They looked at me like I was crazy, handed me the report and said, 'turn this into your insurance company.' I left for a couple of hours and when I got home my home was ransacked. The thing that pisses me off the most is they got my DVD player that was filled with movies and it was one of the Sony 400 disk changers. I hate thieves.
Anyway, I had a camera stolen as well so I had it replaced through the insurance company (remind me to tell you about that one). I got it in the mail two days ago. I've missed my camera.
It's a digital SLR and I'm an old photog buff. Anyway, I open up the carton and assemble the camera and lens and start to put in the flash card. Will it go in? So I take the card up to Best Buy and they put it in one of their display cameras and it goes in like a champ. So I come back home and try it again.
Also, I've always been big on upkeep and maintenance. I loved manicures, pedicures, massages and facials.
To me, there's nothing like pampering myself. I'd get my nails and toes done every two weeks. However, that was before. It was BF (before Fibromyalgia). Now, I even though I love facials and massages I can't stand to have that kind of pressure on my back or face. It hurts to have my nails done so I stopped that. Pedicures hurt too. Giving up all that really helped tank my self esteem.
I look at my short, stubby nails and then my hands and hate them. I threw on a pair of sunglasses and brushed my hair and put it up in a little clippie. Add a little lip balm and there I go.
No biggie.who the hell would I run into anyway? So what are the odds that on the very day that I'd be so sick of staying in my house, and deciding to take a chance and get outside, that would be the very day I'd run into my very first boyfriend. There I am at Smith's Grocery Store looking like something the cat dragged into the house, trying to lift my spirits just a little, when I happened to glance behind me and voila!
There he was. I would have recognized him anywhere.
He was tall and had gray streaks in his thinning black hair. He was also a bit more wrinkled than he used to be. He was in a pair of sweats and looked like he was just off the tennis courts. If truth be told he didn't age very well. He had gained weight and just looked average instead of the drop dead gorgeous that I remember. Any other time I would have taken a great amount of joy in that fact but right now I would have been embarrassed in front of the hunchback of Notre Dame. I immediately went into fervent prayer and prayed that he wouldn't notice me.
I made all sorts of deals with God if He would just let him pass without a word. I turned my face away, hid behind the flowers and pots, and waited for him to move to another part of the store. One year has gone by since I received my life sentence. One year has gone by since the cell doors slammed and my life would forever change. Even though the symptoms started a while before it's been one year since I heard the word Fibromyalgia. It's been one year since I decided that I needed something to do that would help me process everything that was happening to me. I remember getting started.
I knew I needed an outlet for the frustration, fear and the myriad of issues that I have going through my head. I got on my computer and googled blogs. Thus started my journey that has led me through the pain of Fibromyalgia to the joy of knowing that I am not alone. My initial goal was to find out all that I could about the disease that was robbing me of my life.
All I knew was that I hurt; and I hurt real bad. I'd always managed pain. In a recent post I mentioned that I had stitches on a table when I was four. What I didn't say was that I was carrying a glass bowl full of potato chips in to my dad and uncles. Klutz that I am, I tripped and went face first into the bowl.
In the ensuing panic I was the one that was calm EXCEPT when they wanted to take me to the hospital. I guess I freaked then. The doctor threatened me and said he was going to stitch me up right there. I got up on the table and laid there.
He said again that I'd have to go to the hospital if I moved. Evidently, I didn't move a muscle. I was so frightened by what was happening to my body. No sleep and out of control pain.
Then, the piece de' resistance was the brain fog. I've read, and loved, contracts all my life. I could take them apart and put them back together better than they were before.
It was something that I really enjoyed doing and I was good at it. I loved new home sales and even though the management sometimes sucked it was a real high for me to put together communities. I could remember the names of people in all my communities and where they lived. So as the fear kept building I kept reaching deeper and deeper inside to write about issues I'd never had the desire to face before. As I wrote there were things I'd never faced and also never known was buried deep within. The dark side of depression was creeping up because of the pain and I wanted to purge myself of anything that might hamper my ability to beat this disease.
You see, I haven't accepted that I will be living like this for quite some time. I haven't made it through all the stages of grief and I keep repeating a few stages like some never-ending loop. Is it the pain that causes depression or were some things that were always there?
I was always a happy person and loved to laugh and smile and I smiled a smile that reached my eyes. I found that there was a theme running though my posts of denial and anger. I can't stand, and still can't accept, that I will not be able to live a high intensity, high stress life of a new home sales agent. I'm angry that getting rear-ended in January of 2008 sent me spiraling into the black hole of Fibromyalgia.
I know that there are sufferers out there who have overcome the pain and live a great life with few flares. I want to be one of those people but I'm nowhere near that yet.
I feel like a big, fat lump instead of the woman who thrived on the intensity of selling. Then I met three special women and have helped me more than they can ever know.
I've never met them face to face but we've met heart to heart. I've said it before but I can't let my year anniversary go by without saying a special thank you again to Lynn-Marie, Michelle and CJ.
You guys have really made this special. We've got the same issues and problems. We hurt, cry and laugh through the posts that bare our souls to the world. We all have family and friends that we've grown up with but there is something special that is shared when this illness strikes.
It sounds trite but unless you have felt this down-to-the-bone-agonizing-ache-and-pain you don't understand how someone can tolerate this day in and day out. It's also hard to understand how this changes you.
We would all love to turn back time to the day before this all consuming pain hit us. But we can't. Ain't happening. Lately everything seems to be an uphill battle. Everything seems to be a struggle. Everything seems to be a climb. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other and just move.
I force myself to get on the stair climber and get even a few minutes just because it's supposed to be good for me. I guess every little bit helps but I haven't seen that yet. Is it because this is so recent? I have said it before but I truly believe the accident that I had in 2008 was the trigger that sent me over the edge. I haven't been sleeping lately so the loss of sleep will equate to a day of increased pain. Even when I do sleep I don't sleep.
It's the kind of sleep that doesn't restore or refresh your body. It's the alpha waves intruding into your sleep and you don't get a chance to fully slip into deep slumber. Lately the pain has been off the charts. I've gone from a moderate level of pain into the more severe levels. Even my dog H doesn't want to be on the bed with me. Usually he whimpers and looks at me with those big eyes until I lift him on the bed. After I do that he curls up next to me and starts to snore. Now, since I thrash around trying to find a position that is comfortable he can't stand to be up here with me anymore and retreats to his bed where his highness won't be disturbed.
I've heard that I need to try meditation. Breathe through the pain. So far it's not working.
I really hate to say it but I've never done well with that. I have been able to manage pain my whole life starting by getting stitches in my head on a kitchen table when I was four. That isn't the answer. Spending 20 minutes meditating does nothing for the long term management of pain.
It doesn't help me sleep either. It gives me a very pleasant feeling of relaxation but other than that.zip.nada.zilch.
I went out today and drove across town to get information about the support groups for Fibromyalgia in Las Vegas. The drive bothered me more than I thought it would. Between the Fibro and the appendix it kind of knocked me out. The group had a table at a supermarket in Henderson.
I parked the car and walked in and looked around. I finally found the table at the other end of the supermarket. If I hadn't known it would be there I would have missed it.
Honestly, I thought there would be more fanfare. I'm used to doing things on a grand scale. I'd be pulling people in talking about this disease. I liked their location and hopefully a lot of people stopped and asked for information.
I'll be going tomorrow to the luncheon and meeting all sorts of people that are suffering with this invisible syndrome. I need to get out of my house more, so this will be a good thing. I'm a little unsure of meeting new people. Weird, because that's all I've done in my career. Being in sales everyone was new.
Every meeting was an encounter and I loved getting to know people. I don't know what this has done to me. Is it because I've been so isolated for so long? Maybe that's it.
Part of me is afraid I'll need to give something and I have nothing to give right now. I'll just wing it and go see what is up. Maybe I can offer suggestions.well, maybe I shouldn't do that. I have a way of taking over so I'll be a good girl and keep my mouth shut. I went in and had to update my status on my trigger point tenderness.
God Bless her. She didn't need to press very hard. She could tell by talking to me how I was doing. I had her laughing about the appendicitis and she put me at ease about the test.
I haven't really improved since I saw her last. They put a lot of stock on supplements. While I agree that they can help you a great deal, I do not believe that Fibromyalgia is a nutritional problem. I believe it is a neuro-endocrine disorder.
But I digress. The doctor got the information that she needed for her statement. She was appalled that this disability thing has gone on as long as it has. She knows what will happen and what did happen when I tried to overcome all of this and go back to work. She told me I'd crash out and I did.
What do you do? I've asked this before. How in the heck do you re-invent yourself in your mid-50's? No one will admit it but there is age discrimination in sales.
So what to do? High pressure and high stress are horrible job partners to have with Fibromyalgia. There were days that I would practically have to crawl in the door.
I couldn't go upstairs and when people wanted to spend a lot of time there I wanted to scream. It was impossible to do everything that is required for new home sales. So I made it through today. She'll put together her diagnosis and letters and send them down to the attorney. The good part is that I really love this doctor. The bad part is the Clinic is going corporate so if you don't take their package you may get shoved out the door.
That part sucks. I understand more doctors are going to managed care but this clinic doesn't take insurance to begin with. Their packages start at about 4800 so like I said.Fibromyalgia isn't cheap. So it remains to be seen if I'll be there very much longer.
I am not a doctor. Anything that I write or have written is not intended to be medical advice.
Any information is deemed reliable but not guaranteed. I am not responsible for the misuse or interpretation of any material in this blog. Always consult your healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment.This blog is a personal blog, written and edited by me. I give my own opinion on procedures, products, and topics which are based on my findings, beliefs and experiences. The opinions expressed on this blog are purely my own.Any claim, statistic, quote or other representation should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.Photo credits courtesy of google images and We Heart It.
This page has two fast, basic neurological exams (also known as a rapid, simple neurological exam).The first is the standard if you suspect someone has had a stroke.The second one, a basic neuro check, could be quite useful if someone took a fall that you suspect might have caused a concussion, but they are unwilling to take their accident seriously. By having them lie still and do these tests, you might be able to prove to them that they need immediate help and need to stay still until help arrives.It is also used for a scuba diver you suspect has the bends, (decompression sickness (DCS) or Caisson disease).If you are giving first aid to a victim who realizes they are quite injured, getting the answers to the you learned in a first aid class (signs and symptoms, allergies, medications, medical conditions, last oral intake, etc.) in case they pass out before the EMTs arrive, could literally help save their life. Trying some of the tests in the second exam on this page and having the results for the EMTs/Paramedics, could also assist them and help make the time waiting go faster.(Even if someone ‘passes’ all these tests, if you have reason to suspect a concussion, consult a doctor. It is always better to be safe.)Note to on-line users not in my classes: this is a study sheet. It is not complete instruction in first aid.
In a formal class you will learn steps for recognizing emergencies, how and when to call 911, protecting yourself, (including how to obtain consent and prevent disease transmission), how to prioritize care and much more.
In Neuro Test Is Okey To Answer Neutralize
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A comprehensive database of more than 15 neuroscience quizzes online, test your knowledge with neuroscience quiz questions. Our online neuroscience trivia quizzes can be adapted to suit your requirements for taking some of the top neuroscience quizzes.We to examine you very quickly. We have reasons to believe that you might be harboring a very large of correct and we need to sure.
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